Two words. Mario. Balotelli. The Italian National Team forward basically helped ensure Italy's triumph over the Germans today. I was initially going to write that he sealed the win, but that would not be accurate because the rest of the team did an excellent job of supporting and defending. Indeed, there were points in the game where the Italian goal areas were swarming with blue (the color of Italy's uniform), with Bella Italia's players doing their utmost to prevent the German's from scoring. Special shoutouts, as well, to keeper GG Buffon, Leonardo Bonucci, Antonio Cassano, and - really - the entire team for coming together as cohesive unit. They bolted out of the gate early, put a scoring distance between themselves and the Germans, and the concentrated on defending. A tremendous effort that saw the underdogs triumph over the much-touted Germans. Fact is, a lot of people were expecting Germany to triumph, and the Italians to go under. But never count out or underestimate an Italian...
And so... on Sunday in Kiev, Italy will battle Spain. As always, we will be rooting for Italy. I like Spain, as well, but I love Italy - and will always be on their side. Spain is a bit like the star pupil in the class - they won the 2010 World Cup, and have scored other lofty wins. It's time for the crafty, wily Italians to reclaim the throne and relive their 2006 World Cup glory.
Sunday cannot get here fast enough... Until then, the June reviews will post in a series of capsule reviews.
Yes, we still owe you the June reviews. But even so, we'd like to reveal our July line-up. But before that, a hearty congrats to our Spanish brothers and their national team for triumphing over Portugal (sorry, Cristiano Ronaldo - talk to your Coach) and advancing to the finals of the Euro 2012. Now we find out tomorrow after the Italy vs. Germany match who will be battling Spain for the coveted title on Sunday. Will it be Germany? Or Bella Italia... We know where this household's loyalties are aligned...
...Viva Italia.
Our July movies:
Please expect the June reviews to start posting by the weekend...
As I predicted, movies and movie reviews were forgotten this weekend - and everything was devoted to the Euro 2012 quarterfinals - with Portugal trouncing the Czech Republic last Thursday, Germany spanking Greece on Friday, Spain obliterating France yesterday, and then today, in one of the most suspenseful games of soccer we've ever seen, Italy knocked England out of the running in the penalty phase, 4-2, after a nil-nil at full time. Viva Italia. What a great way to spend a Sunday...
That leaves four survivors in the quest for the Euro Cup 2012: Portugal, Germany, Spain, and... Italy. The Semi-Finals begin on Wednesday with Spain and Portugal facing off, and Germany and Italy butting heads the day after or so. We're in the homestretch, and it's shaping up to be a nail-biting finish.
In keeping with Italy's soccer triumph, and the general soccer-frenzy of this weekend, our Movie Music Tracks Of The Week are from soccer films: Feeder's "Feeling A Moment" from the soundtrack of GOAL 2: LIVING THE DREAM, and Texas' "Inner Smile" from the soundtrack of BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM.
Please expect the remainder of the June reviews to post in a series of "lightning reviews" between now and next week - then we're on to July...
"Feeling A Moment" by Feeder, from GOAL 2: LIVING DREAM...
"Inner Smile" by Texas, from BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM...
Congrats to GG Buffon, Alessando Diamanti, Andrea Pirlo, Antonio Nocerino, Mario Balotelli, Thiago Motta, the rest of the team, and finally: congrats to Italians all over the world for having their boys get one step closer to the Euro Cup 2012... Best of luck in the Semi-Finals this coming week...
Sorry about the delay in the reviews, but this week, soccer comes first...
Time to get back into the swing of things... Please find below the revised June schedule. Due to increased summer events (not to mention the Euro 2012 Quarterfinals heating up, as reminded to me by a certain Italian soccer genius who really should be playing with the MLS), we are reducing our June reviews a little...
# 464 - GAME CHANGE
# 465 - CHRONICLE
# 466 - THIS MEANS WAR
# 467 - MADAGASCAR 3
# 468 - TO ROME WITH LOVE
# 469 - PEOPLE LIKE US
# 470 - TED
# 471 - I VITELLONI
# 472 - WILL
# 473 - BRAVE
As good as some of these flicks are, I'm sure none of them are as exciting as the match between England and Italy this Sunday. Bring it, Britannia!
Please expect some of the reviews next week after the Euro 2012 Quarterfinals have been decided...
Elvis Presley's classic ballad "Can't Help Falling In Love With You" (my # 4 favorite version)has seen many remakes and re-imaginings. We had Corey Hart's quietly mournful version (my #3 favorite), UB40's zippy and reggae-influenced approach for the SLIVER soundtrack (my #5 favorite), Lick The Tins' folksy and Irish-tinged rendition from SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL's soundtrack (my #6 favorite) and U2's surreal and hopeful take (my #2 favorite).
But my #1 favorite rendition of "Can't Help Falling In Love With You" will always be the A-Teens' cheerful and celebratory addition to the soundtrack of my favorite animated film of all time: the wonderful Hawaii-set adventure LILO & STITCH. I even have several stuffed Stitch toys. I am not even ashamed to admit that. I love that little fucker. And we love this version of the song the most.
At any rate, please find below the Top Five different famous versions of "Can't Help Falling In Love With You":
6. "Can't Help Falling In Love With You" by Lick The Tins for the SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL soundtrack....
5. "Can't Help Falling In Love With You" by UB40 for SLIVER's soundtrack...
4. "Can't Help Falling In Love With You" by Elvis Presley...
3. "Can't Help Falling In Love With You" by Corey Hart
2. "Can't Help Falling In Love With You" by U2
And the #1 version of "Can't Help Falling In Love With You..."
The A-Teens, from the LILO & STITCH Original Soundtrack:
These soundtracks and songs are available through Amazon, ITunes, and Barnes & Noble, among other places. Have a great week, folks... please expect the rest of the June reviews to start posting this weekend....
I think that's going to be my new catchphrase... As a local guy who befriended me on this trip said, "Hawaii is a place of healing. The ancient Hawaiians believed all the love in the world started here..." Very easy to believe. And very hard to leave. With the road-tripping, hiking, scuba diving at Molokini Crater and Turtle Town, swimming, skimboarding, Maui Film Festival, and most of all the wonderful locals, it's been an awesome trip. But there's always the next Hawaiian Adventure...
Some photos from the dives of blacktip and whitetip reef sharks, Galapagos sharks, moray eels, turtles, and fishies:
Hello, all... Just a quick note and update from the lovely island of Maui in the Hawaiian archipelago. Had hoped to post this sooner but was busy diving with turtles and sharks.
At any rate, the Maui Film Festival kicked off last Tuesday, and will end Sunday night. Celebrity guests included Joshua Radnor and James Marsden, with a special tribute tonight to Elizabeth Banks (THE NEXT THREE DAYS, ROLE MODELS, PEOPLE LIKE US) and there was much partying. The island's bars were deserted most nights of the Festival because everyone was there. Especially last Thursday night, when the stellar surfing film IMMERSION premiered. There have been some other real gems featured here, some of which are previewed below. But there are many, many more. Please look for these films when they reach your city. See below:
And, of course, my ode to summer, Hawaii, and summer in Hawaii: Sheryl Crow's awesome "Soak Up The Sun". But don't forget to wear SPF 100+...
With the posting of PROMETHEUS and SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN, we begin our June Reviews... However, please note that I will be on travel starting Tuesday. I wish I could say I'd be posting from the road like I usually do - but I'm afraid we'll be too busy diving the Molokini Crater off Maui:
For now, please revel in the tunes of Orchestral Maneuvers In The Dark's "If You Leave" from PRETTY IN PINK:
And Rupert Everett's hilarious take on "I Say A Prayer" from MY BEST FRIEND'S WEDDING:
And last but no way the least: Shania Twain's "You Got A Way" from NOTTING HILL:
As always, these soundtracks are available on ITunes, Amazon, and Barnes & Noble. Have a great week folks. Please expect the rest of the June Reviews to start posting again the week after next.
PROMETHEUS (2012 - HORROR / SCI-FI / THRILLER / MYSTERY) **** out of *****
(Next time, turn down that invitation. Jackasses...)
CAST: Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Logan-Marshall Green, Charlize Theron, Idris Elba, Guy Pearce, Kate Dickie, Rafe Spall, Sean Harris, Emun Elliott, Benedict Wong, Patrick Wilson.
DIRECTOR: Ridley Scott.
WARNING: Minimal SPOILERS ahead - trust me, this is how you want it....
IT'S LIKE THIS: In this sort-of-prequel-more-like-sidequel to that awesome classic ALIEN from 1979, a group of space explorers surmise that cave paintings found in various locations around Earth are actually an invitation from extraterrestrial beings to come visit them. Now, obviously, these dumbasses didn't heed (or cared) about real-life scientist Stephen Hawking's warning that we shouldn't be trying to communicate with beings from other galaxies because we may not know what kind of fucked-up shite we'd be bringing onto ourselves. Sage words, but ones that are apparently of no use to the folks in PROMETHEUS. Because, before you know it, these guys and gals are jetting on over to a far-flung galaxy on the spaceship "Prometheus" where a planet system similar to the symbols in the cave paintings awaits them. Hoping to shake hands with the mysterious beings they believe sired us humans. Or something like that.
They are comprised of your usual mixed bag of: (1) idealistic types: Elizabeth Shaw and Charlie Holloway (Noomi Rapace and Logan Marshall Green); (2) icy corporate types: Meredith Vickers and David Weyland (Charlize Theron and Guy Pearce); (3) comic relief types: Fifield and Milburne (Sean Harris and Rafe Spall); (4) bickering buddies types: Chance and Ravel (Emun Elliott and Benedict Wong; (5) earnest doctor types: Ford and, well, just Ford (Kate Dickie); and last but definitely the weirdest: (6) bizarro robot types: David (Michael Fassbender). There a few others whom we meet very quickly in passing, but I haven't bothered to list them because, well, they don't have much personality like the ones I mentioned. And they die pretty quickly...
So... what happens when the Prometheus lands on planet LV-225? What's waiting for them? Is the invitation a benign one? Or is there something sinister lying in wait among the mountains of the planet. What happens when they discover a temple-like structure in the middle of a valley? What is inside?
Find out for yourselves. But don't say I didn't warn you....
BUT, SERIOUSLY: One of my favorite films of all time is ALIEN. In my humble opinion, it's the perfect horror film: intelligent, brooding, atmospheric, with an emphasis in suspense and dread - and not just on blood and guts. Indeed, with the exception of the infamous "chest-burster" scene, ALIEN is a fairly gore-free film. Director Ridley Scott just tricks you into thinking you've seen more blood than you have. Such is the power of the film. ALIEN is also elegance personified in its structure: in essence, it is a "Haunted House" film set in deep space, with the ghost being a shape-shifting, elusive creature - and seven people who are decimated by it, one-by-inexorable-one.
PROMETHEUS is a more complex film than ALIEN was. It juggles many more different elements than the previous film did. As such as it is a bit less streamlined than its forefather. It is also a very frustrating film that poses a lot of questions that are never given any clear answers. Even though they are of completely different genres, PROMETHEUS reminds of THE TREE OF LIFE in its ability to make you think about the film and analyze its various puzzle pieces - until you get to some kind of resolution.
I kept the earlier plot breakdown purposefully short, because PROMETHEUS is most effective when you don't know what is coming. Director Ridley Scott brings the same visual splendor to this film, but uses a lot less of the brooding, silent, slow build-up that made ALIEN's scares all the more effective when they finally arrived. Here, things move faster, and there are perhaps some reveals that could've been handled more gracefully. Also, a lot of the various plot threads don't quite dovetail in the end. Nevertheless, it has the same mood and feel as ALIEN, just jazzed up a little. And perhaps we are meant to search for answers the way the film's heroine is.
The cast is solid. The standouts are easily Charlize Theron and Michael Fassbender. Theron recently played an icy, distant, and mysterious character in SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN. Even though Meredith Vickers is cut from the same cloth as the Evil Queen from that film, Theron portrays her differently. It's this unerring capacity to bring nuance and shading to any role she plays that makes Charlize Theron a supremely gifted performer. Meredith Vickers may be cold, ruthless, and relentless, but she is easily the character who makes the most sense in this film - and she is easily my favorite in the bunch. And Theron doesn't forget to hint at the frightened woman underneath Meredith's cool, composed facade.
Fassbender delivers a more quirky and whimsical performance as the android David. While the character is, in the end, a little too inscrutable, Fassbender nevertheless makes him a consistently intriguing figure. He also has the capacity to suggest menace or innocence with the smallest of facial expressions. Since both David and Meredith are at the heart of some of PROMETHEUS's key plot twists, I don't want to say more. Except that Theron and Fassbender basically steal the show.
As the nominal heroine, Noomi Rapace is a little too nondescript. I understand that Elizabeth Shaw is supposed to be a woman whose strength is hidden in the depths - and only comes out when the chips are very down. But Rapace too often gets lost in the background in the first two acts of the film. I don't want to say too much here, either, but I have to wonder if Rapace was really the best choice for this role. Elizabeth is supposed to be low-key, but not invisible. I can't help but wish someone with more "star presence" was chosen. Same goes for Logan Marshall Green as Charlie Holloway, Elizabeth's partner in work and love. While Green is one very attractive guy, he doesn't really bring much to the role of Charlie beyond a certain cockiness. Which really isn't enough to make him interesting. As it is, Theron and Fassbender blow them right off the screen every single time. In the end, Theron and Fassbender have an effortless X-Factor that Rapace (despite her GIRL WITH DRAGON TATTOO fame) and Green are missing here.
The supporting cast of Idris Elba, Rafe Spall, Sean Harris, Kate Dickie, Benedict Wong, Emun Elliott, and Guy Pearce (in an interesting semi-cameo) are all okay. Ultimately there are too many characters here to effectively delineate as well as ALIEN did with its crew of seven. But, ultimately, PROMETHEUS succeeds despite its miscast leads and sometimes inelegant plotting because of a genuine sense of awe, discovery, dread, and, ultimately, terror. And also because of director Ridley Scott's graceful and painterly film-making style that irresistibly pulls youinto the story despite its flaws....
And the rest is for you to discover....
In closing, the original 1979 trailer for ALIEN, which has the same mood as the previews for PROMETHEUS:
SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN (2012 - FANTASY / ACTION / ROMANCE) *** out of *****
(Mirror, mirror on the wall - can you make me look less fat?)
CAST: Kristen Stewart, Charlize Theron, Liam Hemsworth, Sam Claflin, Ian McShane, Bob Hoskins, Ray Winstone, Nick Frost, Eddy Marsan, Toby Jones, Johnny Harris, Brendan Gleeson, Noah Huntley.
DIRECTOR: Rupert Sanders
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some appropriately Grimm interpretations of your favorite fairy tale - straight ahead....
IT'S LIKE THIS: If the Brothers Grimm could've looked centuries into the future to see what Walt Disney and modern pop culture in general would do to their stories, I have no doubt they would've taken the original manuscripts and used them to stoke the fire for their dinner. Or to clean their dirty windows. Or to wipe their asses. Anything to save the stories from being butchered and bastardized and sugarcoated and soft-pedaled to the point of becoming fodder for general audiences - instead of the adults they were clearly meant for.
Seriously, folks: the original Grimm's Fairy Tales were not for kids. They were filled with all sorts of heinous shit you would usually see these days in the National Enquirer - or your average Jerry Springer episode. Let's see.... Murder? Check. Mutilation? Check. Cannibalism? Check. Animal Cruely? Check. Nasty witchcraft? Very check. Not to put too fine a spin on it, folks, but the Brothers' Grimm were like a traveling Cliver Barker and Stephen King duo back in their day. Their original versions of Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Rapunzel, Hansel and Gretel, and Snow White (just to name a few), were like the medieval versions of SEVEN, JENNIFER EIGHT, and THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS.
Then Walt Disney got ahold of the stories... and the rest is history. What were meant to be dark, sinister tales suddenly got turned into bubblegum crap whose primary audience are preschoolers and toddlers. To see just how far from the original stories the modern version have strayed, all you have to do is watch that excruciating flick MIRROR MIRROR from earlier this year, where Julia Roberts played an evil queen who was really more like Joan Rivers, Lilly Collins played a Snow White with eyebrows thicker than Sacha Baron Cohen's un-manscaped bush in THE DICTATOR, and Armie Hammer (seriously, that's his name) played a Prince who seemed to have more estrogen than Julia Roberts and Lilly Collins combined. I feel sorry for any princess expecting him to save her. If Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm's ghosts are looking down on us right now, they're probably thinking that MIRROR MIRROR is a far more horrifying that anything they could've ever conjured up.
For all its flaws (and believe me, they're there - but that's for the BUT, SERIOUSLY portion of our review), our next review, SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNSTMAN, at least takes the "Fuck you, Disney!" approach and swings sharply back into some decidedly grim (and Grimm) territory. Meaning this version of the fairy tale has it all: Murder? Check. Mutilation? Check. Animal Cruelty? Check. Cannibalism? Well, only if you consider Kristen Stewart and Liam Hemsworth devouring each other with their eyes.
Our story begins the same way the original tale did, with some dippy Queen pricking her finger on a rose bush one day. She watches three droplets of blood hit the snow below, her, and suddenly all she can think of is: "I wish I had a daughter with skin as white as snow, hair as black as night, and lips as red as blood." Huh? What the hell? I would've been all like: "Where the FUCK is the ROYAL FIRST AID KIT!?!?!? I'm BLEEDING to DEATH here!!!!!! What am I PAYING you ASSHOLES FOR!?!?!"
But that's just me. Anyway, the Queen soon gets her wish: she is soon pregnant and later gives birth to a daughter who, yes, has all the criteria mentioned above: skin as white as snow, hair as black as night, and lips as red as blood. Which, yes, basically makes her a tiny-tot version of Morticia Addams. Personally, I think any mother who would wish that on her daughter needs to be turned in to Child Protective Services. But, again, just me. At any rate, to further add insult to injury, the Queen doesn't try to make the best of the situation by giving the kid a nice name like "Adrianne" or "Jade" or "Minerva". Nope, she calls her.... "Snow White". Great, the kid will eventually think, I'm named after a weather by-product.
Anyhow, not long after Snow White is born, the Queen keels over and dies (finally), and the King, being a man, decides to remarry. This time, he picks the decidedly less dippy Ravenna (Charlize Theron), who is like Grace Kelly only somehow hotter. Hell, if the Queen hadn't already been dead, I'm sure the King would've pushed her off a castle turret to make room for Ravenna's ascendance. Before you know it, Ravenna is Queen Ravenna, and Snow White has a stepmother.
All is well in the Kingdom for a time. Like about a half-hour - then Ravenna kills the King and stages a coup, crowning herself Queen Biyatch of the Universe. Snow White is pretty much tossed into the dungeon from that point on until she turns into teenager (Kristen Stewart) years later. For awhile, Queen Ravenna has her heart's desires: (1) she is the sole ruler of the Land, (2) and her trusty Magic Mirror, which is like a boyfriend whose sole purpose in life is making you feel like a billion bucks, constantly reassures her that she is the, ahem, Fairest of Them All. Until Snow White gets old enough to develop breasts that is. At that point, the Magic Mirror tells Queen Ravenna that she is no longer the Fairest of Them All. More like # 2 now, because apparently it has a serious jones for Snow White.
As you can imagine, Queen Ravenna reacts to this in the same way she would to the news that the milk-bath she regularly bathes in to stay young is actually the cum of a hundred soldiers who jerked off into her tub to play a really fucked-up joke on her. In other words, she gets a little annoyed. She arranges to have Snow White killed, but the little bitch manages to escape and disappears in the Cursed Forest. She then hires a drunken bum called The Huntsman (Liam Hemsworth) to track down Snow White, but the idiot falls for her instead - and decides to help her. Poor Ravenna, can't win for losing, can she?
So.... will Queen Ravenna succeed in tracking down Snow White and the Huntsman? Or will they continue to elude her forces in the Cursed Forest? What happens when they run into seven little assholes who have been camped out there for awhile? Will these little guys give them sanctuary? Or will they look out only for themselves? What happens when Ravenna decides to take matters into her own hands? Will this be the fairy tale version of a WWF Smackdown? Ravenna vs. Snow White? Who will win this battle?
My money is on those seven little fuckers. Never underestimate the little people....
BUT, SERIOUSLY: The most interesting cinematic interpretation of the Snow White story remains the dark and nuanced SNOW WHITE: A TALE OF TERROR from 1997. Starring Sigourney Weaver and Monica Keena as surprisingly nuanced and multi-faceted leads, the movie was a very refreshing spin on the predictable "Queen = evil; Snow White = Good" formula that has rarely been tinkered with. In that film, Weaver delivered a wonderfully complex portrayal of a woman whose mistreatment at the hands of her husband and stepdaughter finally drove her to the dark side. Meanwhile, Keena's heroine was occasionally tempestuous and self-absorbed, and often unkind to her stepmother. There are even those who sympathize more with Weaver's character than Keena's - and understandably so. SNOW WHITE: A TALE OF TERROR is my favorite version of the story because of its complex characters who behave and react in timelessly human ways - and not in fairy tale character fashion.
SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN is more straightforward in portraying Ravenna and Snow White as polar bad-and-good opposites. It follows SNOW WHITE: TALE OF TERROR's dark tone, keeping it closer in feel to the original Grimms' tales. Theron's interpretation of Ravenna is easily the film's high point. Theron is icy, intimidating, imperious, and thoroughly evil - but she also gives the character an undercurrent of sadness that peeks occasionally through expressive eyes. Theron has always had an intriguing way of drawing us to her - while also keeping us at an arm's length. That quality is ideal for this character, who is very guilty of atrocious acts - but whose motivations and flaws are rooted in human causes. The true test of Theron's charisma is this: whenever she is onscreen, your eyes are glued to her and her alone. When she is offscreen, you can still feel her presence like a ghost - and you cannot wait for her to show up again. Theron holds your attention masterfully, and she is the reason this film rates above the average mark.
Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for Kristen Stewart as Snow White. This role is obviously the heart of the film, and Stewart's flatness pretty much hampers the story. Stewart is pretty enough to play Snow White, but she doesn't seem to have the ability to suggest layers that can be peeled back as the story progresses. As written, Snow White is supposed to start out as a terrified young girl who uncovers her innate toughness and resilience. We're supposed to see the fire in the character even if she herself is not aware of it until later on. Sadly, Stewart is never compelling enough in the role, and always comes across as the understudy to the true lead. I can't help but imagine how Jennifer Lawrence or Emily Browning would've handled the part. Both have that X-Factorish blend of sensuality, innocence, intelligence, and strength that is necessary to make Snow White a worthy adversary for Ravenna. As it is, she is almost a non-entity. Clearly, Stewart was cast for her TWILIGHT following, and that has undoubtedly helped the film open big at the North American box office. But the bottom line is she is not right for the role. Sorry, but there it is...
Chris Hemsworth proves his leading man mettle by taking an underwritten role and enlivening it with his rough-edged presence. Hemsworth also manages to give the Huntsman a certain world-weary melancholy that never turns into cynicism, making him a quietly compelling character that we can root for. As the secondary male lead, Sam Claflin provides a different, more polished presence. His character is positioned as the third point of a potential triangle including Snow White and the Huntsman. But because Stewart is so wan in the central role, we don't get why these two guys would be enamored by her.
Supporting roles are all vividly essayed, with Ian McShane, Bob Hoskins, and Ray Winstone leading the Seven dwarves. Their take on these iconic characters are appropriately gruff and edgy, totally in keeping with this film's dark tone. Sam Spruell also deserves special mention as Finn, Ravenna's loyal brother, who loves and fears his sister in equal measure. Like Theron, Spruell delivers a nuanced and layered performance that emphasizes both his character's humanity and inhumanity.
In the end, SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN could've been a classic - and almost as good as SNOW WHITE: A TALE OF TERROR. But with the central role flatly portrayed, the film is weakened considerably. Only Charlize Theron's riveting and almost touching portrayal of an ordinary woman-gone-very bad, and a vivid supporting cast, saves it from being an average film.
