THE SECRET OF CRICKLEY HALL (2012 - HORROR / HAUNTED HOUSE FLICK) ***1/2 OUT OF ***** OR 7 out of 10
(I could care less about the secret of that place... I'm staying in London...)
CAST: Tom Ellis, Suranne Jones, David Warner, Sarah Smart, Douglas Henshall, Maisie Williams, Olivia Cooke, Ian De Castecker, Pixie Davies.
DIRECTOR: John Ahearne
(WARNING: Some SPOILERS and very good reasons to avoid old English manors, straight ahead...)
IT'S LIKE THIS: Remember in Eddie Murphy's stand-up comedy concert flicks, RAW and DELIRIOUS, where he made fun of the stupid decisions made by white people in horror movies? Remember how he re-enacted the scene from THE AMITYVILLE HORROR wherein the demon voice yelled "GET OUT!" - and the white family in question didn't listen and proceeded instead to redecorate the place? Remember how he said that if it were an African-American family in that movie, they would've been half-way back to Brooklyn ten seconds after hearing that voice in the house?
Well, in our next "31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN" review, we encounter a white family that Eddie Murphy would have spun a thousand jokes off of. Suffice it to say, they move into an old estate deep in the British countryside that looks all sorts of haunted. Suffice it to say, they ignore all the horrible stories about the place. Suffice it to say, they get their asses spanked by all the ghosts that are indeed frolicking like flappers at a Roaring Twenties theme party. Long story short, expect these guys to get lampooned the next time Eddie decides to do a comedy show that talks about horror movies and dumb folks who infest them.
Our next review is THE SECRET OF CRICKLEY HALL, and its a BBC mini-series adaptation of the book of the same name by James Herbert. Our oblivious leads are the Caleigh Family, led by hunky papa Gabe (Tom Ellis), pretty mama Eve (Suranne Jones), spunky eldest daughter Loren (Maisie Williams), and adorable youngest daughter Cally (Pixie Davies). To be completely fair, though, you can't really blame them for not thinking clearly about moving into that creepy old place called Crickley Hall. You see, they have moved into the boonies away from London for a very good reason: the previous year, Gabe and Eve's son Cam (Elliott Kerley) went missing from a playground near their house - and hasn't been seen since. Now, they've moved to the country, partly to heal, and partly because Gabe's gotten a lucrative job nearby.
That's all very heartbreaking and totally understandable, and my heart goes out to the Caleighs over the loss of their son and all - but damn: did they have to pick the scariest-looking place to live in? Wasn't there a bungalow in the village they could've leased instead? Or even just a less-diabolical looking farmhouse? Did it have to be fucking Crickley Hall or nothing? Well, like I said, they must not be thinking straight because of their trauma. I would rather explain their behavior that way than call them a bunch of fucking idiots. I may be a bitch, but I'd like to think I'm a bitch only to those who deserve it - and our poor Caleighs don't.
Anyhow, it's my sad duty to report that Crickley Hall soon starts to live up to its reputation. Soon, doors are opening and closing on their own. Soon, Gabe, Eve, Loren, and Cally are hearing and seeing all sorts of things. Soon, it's looking like no lucrative job on Earth is worth living in this ghost-trap for. Soon, Eve is trying to get a reluctant local psychic named Lilli Peel (Susan Lynch) to not just tell her about the history of Crickley Hall, but also act as a mediator between the Caleigh Family and the evil spirits who want them gone. Soon, it's looking very likely Lilli is going to tell Eve to go fuck herself, heartbreak or not.
Who - or what - is haunting Crickley Hall? What happened there? And what ties do an elderly couple named Augustus and Magda Cribben (Douglas Henshall and Sarah Smart) have to the evil history of the place? Will Lilli cave in and help our poor Caleigh family? And what does Cam's disappearance have to do with his family's new home? And what will happen to Gabe, Eve, Loren, and Cally if they stay? What is the secret of Crickley Hall?
All I know is what Eddie Murphy would say: "Ghost? Ain't nobody got time for that!"
BUT SERIOUSLY: A relatively faithful mini-series adaptation of British horror writer James Herbert's bestseller of the same name, THE SECRET OF CRICKLEY HALL is a solid haunted house flick that manages to somewhat transcend its overly familiar premise - "troubled family moves into haunted house" - and deliver a film that is emotionally-satisfying and narratively-entertaining, in equal measure. It helps that Herbert's voluminous novel wasn't watered down into a 90-minute movie. Instead, it fits appropriately within the confines of a three-hour mini-series. This means that very little of the novel's complexity and flavor is lost.
The cast of British actors are all effective in their roles and, because of the generous confines of the mini-series format, ably flesh out their roles so that they feel real and relatable. This is particularly true of the Caleigh family roles and the players in them. Tom Ellis, Suranne Jones, Maisie Williams, and Pixie Davies are all believable, individually and collectively as a family. The subplot about Cam's disappearance, and their heartache over it, is just as much the center of the film as the ghosts of Crickley Hall are - and the film feels richer because of it. If it weren't for the strong emotional thread created by Cam's disappearance, THE SECRET OF CRICKLEY HALL might have been routine, or just above average.
The flashbacks showing the source of Crickley Hall's haunting also add to the narrative depth, giving this show more of a "drama" feel at times, rather than a horror film. This thread pays off beautifully at the end in a way that truly feels natural rather than contrived and set-up. Kudos must go the narratively-complex script that keep upping the ante but never gets confusing. Indeed, the dramatic arc of the story shown in the flashbacks is so compelling, that when the story shifts into standard "ghosts haunting around the place" mode, it feels like a bit of a down-shift. Maybe that's because the Haunted House template has been so overused, again and again in films, that it's almost unavoidable for it to feel a little routine - even in stronger examples like THE SECRET OF CRICKLEY HALL.
Ultimately, this is probably as good an adaptation of James Herbert's book as we were likely to get. While it isn't quite at the awesome level of THE SHINING, THE CHANGELING, THE ORPHANAGE, and THE GRUDGE, it's still a strong entry into the Haunted House Sub-Genre.
