IT FOLLOWS (2015 - HORROR) **** out of ***** OR 8 out of 10
(Keep your legs together, ladies, and your dicks in your pants, guys - there's a new disease in town...)
CAST: Maika Monroe, Keir Gilchrist, Jake Weary, Lilly Sepe, Olivia Luccardi, Daniel Zovatto, Annie Harris, Bailey Spry.
DIRECTOR: David Robert Mitchell
(WARNING: Some SPOILERS and lots of reasons to do a complete background check on potential one-night stands - straight ahead)
IT'S LIKE THIS: It's common knowledge that in the Horror Genre if you have sex, you will die. And die horribly. In movies like FRIDAY THE 13TH, HALLOWEEN, MY BLOODY VALENTINE, THE BURNING, TERROR TRAIN, CURTAINS, PROM NIGHT, and so many more, the randy horndogs were the first ones to meet up with the business end of the killer's weapon. Meanwhile, their more reserved and celibate pals usually either got killed off much later or outright survived. Not fair. As a randy horndog myself, I call 'bullshit!'. Why should I and my fellow degenerates have to die early just because we have healthy libidos? Why should the boring virgins be the ones to make it out alive every single time?
Whatever. Anyway, more of that same unfairness continues with our latest review, the much-acclaimed horror flick IT FOLLOWS. And in case you're wondering what this movie is about, or what "IT" actually is, let me just say that it's kind of like a cross between that creepy ghost girl from THE RING and a searing case of Gonorrhea. And when I say that the protagonist of the movie is fucked, I mean that both literally and figuratively.
She is the lovely virgin, Jay (Maika Monroe). Jay is your average, sweet blonde 16-year old who spends her days running around with her pals and wondering when she will get her cherry popped. Before we answer that last question, let's meet her buddies first. Quite honestly, these assholes are a bit interchangeable, but I'll try to differentiate their personalities as much as I can. Let's see... first, there's Paul (Keir Gilchrist), who's kind of nerdy and sweet and would love to pop Jay's cherry. Then there's Greg (Daniel Zovatto), who's also kind of sweet but less nerdy because he has long "bad boy" hair and would also love to pop Jay's cherry.
At least Jay's guy friends are somewhat easy to tell apart (nerd, bad boy). Her gal pals are not quite as easily distinguished. They are Kelly (Lilly Sepe), who I guess is her sister and is kind of just there. Then there's Yera (Olivia Luccardi), who is I guess is not Jay's sister but more of a friend but I could be wrong because quite frankly Kelly and Yera kind of look and talk alike. Oh, and one of them is constantly playing some sort of clamshell video game like one of those early Nintendo Game & Watches that were the rage in the 80s and are now worth more as much as a PS3 console. But I can't remember who. Quite honestly, these bitches just blend into one in my mind.
But I digress. At any rate, as mentioned before, Jay is busy hanging out with Paul, Greg, Yera, and Kelly - and wondering whether she should give it up to either Paul or Greg. Hmmmm... decisions, decisions. Fortunately, someone else enters the "Virginity Sweepstakes" in the form of Hugh (Jake Weary). Essentially, he does a double cock-block and steals Jay right from under the noses of Paul and Greg, fucks the living shit out of her in his car in some isolated country lane. And they all lived happily ever after.
Well, not really.
You see, not long after playing "stuff the cootch" with Jay, Hugh turns out to have an agenda. A really fucked-up one. Instead of doing some post-fuckie-fuck cuddling and spooning in his car, he basically straps her to a chair and tells her the following: (1) by fucking Jay, Hugh has passed on a "curse" to her; (2) she can only break the "curse" by fucking someone else and passing it on to them; (3) if she doesn't pass the "curse" to someone else by fucking them, an evil spirit whom we will just call "It" will follow her wherever she goes and take on the form of anyone it wants until it catches and kills her, and (4) it's generally looking like she should've just given up her cherry to either Paul of Greg instead. Oh, and top of that, Hugh literally drops off Jay at her house - as in, kicks her out of his car onto the lawn (in her bra and panties) and drives away. She must not have been that great of a lay, after all.
And how was your first time?
Anyway, sure enough, Jay notices strange people, um, following her. Never the same person twice. Always someone new. Never running. Always just... walking... very... slowly... right... towards... her. Seems Hugh wasn't fucking around. Seems like Jay is now the target of whatever fucked-up shite Hugh was running from. And she's next.
So... how will Jay deal with this, uh, "paranormal STD" that she has? Will she take Hugh's advice and fuck someone else to make it their problem? Or will she attempt to trace the curse to its source and try to stop it for good? How will Paul, Greg, Yera, and Kelly help? What happens when they track down Hugh? What can he tell them about the curse? And will Jay cut his cock off for fucking her over - both literally and figuratively?
I would. Then I'd make him eat it with a hotdog bun and some mustard and sauerkraut. Take that, asshole.
BUT SERIOUSLY: One of the most exciting horror releases in the last few years is our latest review, IT FOLLOWS. Filmed on a very low budget (just over a million, I heard), the movie has become an early 2015 word-of-mouth hit and surprise success, grossing nearly $15 million at the North American box office. Eschewing explicit gore and bloody effects, IT FOLLOWS instead relies on slow-burning dread, supremely creepy atmosphere, and a choking sense of impending doom. This film harkens back to such early classics as ROSEMARY'S BABY, ALIEN, INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS, and, especially, HALLOWEEN in its gradual, eerie build-up to a terrifying conclusion.
IT FOLLOWS has many similarities to HALLOWEEN. Both are films centered on suburban teens who are unaware or don't understand the threat slowly growing in their midst. Like John Carpenter, director David Robert Mitchell makes masterful use of anamorphic widescreen shots and negative space to bring threatening elements into seemingly peaceful situations. As with HALLOWEEN, sinister images appear without warning in the background, catching you off guard after a heretofore benign set-up. This quality also appeared in Carpenter's other films like THE FOG (my favorite horror film), THE THING, CHRISTINE, PRINCE OF DARKNESS, IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS, and VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED.
Sadly, most horror films these days don't take the time to build up the atmosphere and setpieces of their stories, preferring to jump headlong into the scares. Quite honestly, that to me is like sex without foreplay, which is far less satisfying. IT FOLLOWS trumps most of its current brethren because it is more similar to the Horror Classics of the 60s, 70s, and 80s, which knew that what you cannot see and what you are anticipating is far more terrifying that what you actually finally see. And that is more satisfying.
Also adding to IT FOLLOWS' retro feel are the characters. Mitchell never states explicitly what era the story is unfolding in, but his characters don't quite feel like 2015 kids. There are no cell phones ever used, and the only electronic device is the handheld video game that Yera constantly plays - and even that looks somewhat old-fashioned. There also seems to be an innocence to the characters that is more in line with Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) and her girlfriends from HALLOWEEN in 1978, and less of the knowingly post-modern sensibilities that characterize post-SCREAM horror films. It helps considerably that the cast is composed of talented unknowns, which makes it much easier for the audience to walk in their character's shoes. Imagine if Jay and her pals were played by Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, and Taylor Swift. IT FOLLOWS would've been considerably less effective because we would see the "stars" and not the humans they are playing.
Also, special credit must go to IT FOLLOWS' eerie synthesizer score which also pays homage not only to similar scores from 70's and 80's classics like THE EXORCIST, HALLOWEEN, THE BOOGEYMAN, and THE FOG, but also to the Italian Gialli that influenced those films. The band Disasterpeace handled the musical duties for IT FOLLOWS and they have created brilliantly unnerving music that joins the classics of yesteryear..
Like HALLOWEEN before it, IT FOLLOWS ends on a creepily ambiguous note. There is talk of a sequel. Given this film's commercial and critical success, that is welcome news. Let's hope that David Robert Mitchell will continue at the helm with his minimalist indie approach - and not go the big-budget Hollywood route.
