MOVIE RATING SCALE:

***** (Spectacular) 10

****1/2 (Excellent) 9

**** (Very Good) 8

***1/2 (Good) 7

*** (Above Average) 6

**1/2 (Average) 5

** (Below Average) 4

*1/2 (Mediocre) 3

* (Awful) 2

1/2 (Abysmal) 1

0 (Worthless) 0


Monday, May 2, 2011

UPCOMING REVIEWS FOR THE WEEK OF 5/2/11 - 5/8/11

Hiya, folks...

In case the slide show from yesterday wasn't too much of a tip-off, we are celebrating the recent release of INSIDIOUS (and its unexpectedly strong box-office performance) by reviewing... HAUNTED HOUSE FLICKS!!!

Yes, I know it ain't Halloween, but whenever a horror film does well at the box-office that is something that's good for the business in general...

So, with that in mind, prepare to be scared out of your panties and boxer briefs.

# 323 - INSIDIOUS: 2011 (AKA: It's Not The House That's Haunted - It's Your Ass)

# 324 - WHAT LIES BENEATH: 2000 (AKA: B-Movie With An A-List Cast And Director Equals A-Movie)

# 325 - THE HEARSE: 1980 (AKA: Next Time, Jane, Spend Your Summer Vacation In The City And Not The "Old Family House")

# 326 - SHOCK: 1977 (AKA: With A Brat Like That For A Son, I Hope These People Take Their Chances With The Ghost)

# 327 - DARK WATER: 2005 (AKA: You Rent An Apartment In A Building That Looks Like That And You're Surprised It's Haunted? Hello?)

# 328 - THE SHINING: 1980 (AKA: Heeeeeeerrreeeee'ssss JoohhhhnnnnnyyyY!!!)

# 329 - THE WOMAN IN BLACK: 1989 (AKA: Okay. I Just Officially Shat My Pants Out Of Fear)











Pretty strong argument for keeping an Exorcist on call... Anyhow, CINEMA PARADISO and MALENA should post tomorrow, and the Action Flicks with all post in a series of "Lightning Reviews", as coined by my dear friend "Russell Costner" , and then we're on to the above Haunted House Flicks...