MOVIE RATING SCALE:

***** (Spectacular) 10

****1/2 (Excellent) 9

**** (Very Good) 8

***1/2 (Good) 7

*** (Above Average) 6

**1/2 (Average) 5

** (Below Average) 4

*1/2 (Mediocre) 3

* (Awful) 2

1/2 (Abysmal) 1

0 (Worthless) 0


Sunday, May 15, 2011

# 334 - ELIZABETHTOWN (2005)

ELIZABETHTOWN (2005 - ROMANCE / COMEDY / PORTLAND FLICK) ***½ out of *****

(That must have been one really ugly running shoe…..)

Why the long faces? There‘s a lot more fun things you guys can do on a couch…

CAST: Orlando Bloom, Kirsten Dunst, Susan Sarandon, Paul Schneider, Judy Greer, Bruce McGill, Tim Devitt, Alec Baldwin.

DIRECTOR: Cameron Crowe

WARNING: Some SPOILERS and one hauntingly lovely road trip - straight ahead…






IT’S LIKE THIS: In what has got to be one of the most colossal cluster-fucks in the history of business, Portland shoe designer Drew Baylor’s hot-concept sneaker, which was expected to set the world on fire, tanks spectacularly instead. This leads to expected losses of, oh, just around $972 million dollars. Rounded off, that’s about, oh, a billion dollars. Not exactly just a matter of cutting the coffee fund, huh? Not surprisingly, Drew gets canned by his bizarro boss (Alec Baldwin). Then, just because his day wasn’t shitty enough, he finds out his Dad (Tim Devitt) passed away before they could reconcile. This forces Drew to go back home to Elizabethtown, Kentucky where he must confront the following: (1) southern-fried chicken, (2) southern-fried okra, and (3) southern-fried relatives. Along the way, he meets a hot and quirky stewardess named Claire (Kirsten Dunst) who basically becomes his guardian angel.

THE DUDE (OR DUDETTE) MOST LIKELY TO SAVE THE DAY: Claire. The woman knows exactly when Drew is hurtin’ and knows exactly what to do about it.

EYE CANDY MOST LIKELY TO FIRE UP A WOODY: Kirsten Dunst is pretty foxy as Claire, but Orlando Bloom is a little too pretty for my tastes. Hot Dude Award then goes to the rough-edged Paul Schneider as Drew’s bad boy cousin Jessie, who looks like the World’s Hottest Construction Worker.

MOST INTENTIONALLY SWEET SCENE: Claire creating an elaborate (and zany) road map for Drew to use while driving cross-country back to Portland.

MOST UNINTENTIONALLY SWEET SCENE: Claire telling the stricken Drew: “We are intrepid. We carry on.” In other words: this, too, will pass. Sage words, sister. Way to look out for your man…

HOTTEST SCENE: Jessie doing Freebird at the memorial party. He can give me a concert any day.

INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW: Will Drew recover from the double-whammy of his shoe imploding and his dad dying? Will Claire throw him a lifeline? Or will Drew continue to resist her? Why doesn’t he just give in already? What lessons will Drew learn from coming home to Elizabethtown? What will he learn from the memory of his Pops? Will he turn it all around and embrace life? What is waiting for him back in Portland? I mean, besides more goddamn rain, that is.

WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH “ELIZABETHTOWN”: If you like quirky, unpredictable characters and stories about family, friendship, and unexpected connections. And if you like Cameron Crowe, Orlando Bloom, and Kirsten Dunst.

WHY YOU MAY NOT ENJOY “ELIZABETHTOWN”: If you’re not a fan of “offbeat”. And if you’re not a fan of the director or his two leads…

FINAL ANALYSIS: ELIZABETHTOWN was a movie that grew on me after several viewings. It wasn’t the movie itself that I had to get used to. After all, the central premise - a person at the end of his rope finds redemption and courage through the kindness and compassion of a stranger who becomes much more to him - is a timeless one. Writer/director Cameron Crowe does a good job of exploring this angle, and the central relationship between Drew and Claire. My problem with ELIZABETHTOWN then (and now) is Orlando Bloom in the lead role.

Ashton Kutcher reportedly had been cast as Drew but was replaced not long after filming began. I’m not going to speculate about the reason, but in my opinion, Bloom wasn’t necessarily the best substitute. While he is a talented actor, he just isn’t convincing as an American. He falls prey to what I call the “Brit-Trying-To-Pass-As-A-Yank” accent. Often times, when an English actor will try to affect an American accent, he/she often sounds stilted. The English accent is gone, but it is replaced by something that definitely doesn’t sound American. I know it when I hear it, and I hear it in ELIZABETHTOWN whenever Drew speaks. Because of this impediment, it took me awhile to accept the character.

Fortunately, Bloom makes up for his lack of a convincing American manner by infusing the role with the required melancholy and sadness that Kutcher may not have been able to manage. Kirsten Dunst's vibrant and unpredictable performance as Claire is further compensation. There are moments when Claire seems too quirky and clever, but Dunst always manages to keep us interested and invested in her. Claire is one of those one-of-a-kind characters whom people meet only briefly - but remember forever. What’s great about this character, though, is that her zaniness is matched by her compassion and sensitivity - and these qualities are what keeps Drew afloat.

Another major asset of ELIZABETHTOWN is the lovely and enchanting last half-hour or so, where Drew drives back to Portland, with his father’s ashes in the passenger seat, and follows the colorful and elaborate map that Claire created for him. This map takes him on an unexpected detours and attractions as he makes his way across the country, ultimately leading him to a surprise discovery… which I will leave up to you folks to discover.

Let me just say that if Bloom had managed to affect a more convincing American accent, this film would’ve been stronger - and would’ve rated **** easily. Even with this flaw, though, it is a solidly good flick that reminds us that kindness and compassion from anyone is something to never take for granted…